In an impassioned plea on social media, Robbie Williams has called on fans to be more respectful of artists when they are approaching them for photos, suggesting that people consider that celebrities also deserve privacy.
In a lengthy post on Instagram, the singer drew upon his own personal experience to make a larger point about the way people interact with celebrities, in the hopes that people will be more understanding in either respecting boundaries or not feeling deflated if their heroes don’t agree to a photo opportunity.
Williams, the subject of the recent, critically acclaimed biopic Better Man, wrote that he was writing the post whilst on a “domestic flight, going across America,” where he had “three interactions with fellow passengers” in which they asked for a photo with him. He explained how each interaction went down, offering an insight into the crippling anxiety he feels at the best of times, that would only “spike” with taking photos with people, particularly after he had only gotten two hours of sleep and “wrangled” four kids through the airport, but that he also didn’t shut down the offers outright as he still felt the need to acquiesce sometimes.
“There’s a kind of unspoken law: as a celebrity, you should be accessible 24/7,” Williams wrote. “Greet all strangers like you’re the mayor of the best town anyone’s ever visited. Make sure their wishes are met, whatever they are. Otherwise you’re a [c-word]. There’s no in-between.”
Williams added that he understood why people approached him but he reckoned, “over 50 percent — probably much more — couldn’t name one of my albums, let alone say they’ve bought a ticket to a show. They’re no more fans of me than they are of the Leaning Tower of Pisa or Big Ben. They’re fans of fame. As am I.”
He recalled how, on another flight, he took photos with the crew and they told him he was “much nicer” than another celeb whom the crew said wouldn’t take pictures with them. Williams said he’s a “lovely lad” but suggested there were legitimate reasons he didn’t want to take a photo. “Maybe he thought if he’s paying 8 grand for a ticket the price might include some privacy,” Williams wrote. “Who knows what’s going on in his world that day?”
Williams wrote that he hoped his thoughtful plea would provide “context” as to why sometimes celebrities don’t want to interact with the public and why those occasions didn’t make them bad people.
“We’re the same ratio of good and bad as wherever you work,” Williams wrote. “What I am saying is: Let people be people. Humans, struggling — like we all are — in one way or another. Allow people the dignity of their privacy, their wants, their needs. Because most of us are just trying to protect ourselves — mentally, physically or both. Just like you.”
Williams’ post has already resonated with fellow artists, with the likes of Adam Lambert, Joey McIntyre, Natasha Bedingfield and Afrojack all expressing support in the comments.
“I think it’s helpful to explain it because it’s hard for the public to understand what it’s like from the opposite perspective,” Lambert wrote in part.
McIntyre said, in a longer comment on Williams’ post, “When I stop people pleasing, people aren’t pleased. I hear you, good man. I have loads of anonymity in my life but when it’s ‘go time,’ it’s a tough pill to swallow for me when I have to say I’m done for the day. Not easy when I am so grateful that folks come out to see me on tour and support me so wholeheartedly, but it’s 11:30 p.m. and I just traveled all day, did a show, met a bunch of people, but I don’t have it in me to take five (or even ‘one more’) selfie. It sucks saying I can’t. But there’s only one human that has some power over my serenity and well being, and that’s me. And so when I feel my cup suddenly full, I have to shut it down. It’s hard taking the cape off. It’s hard to not ‘compare and despair’ — ‘he can do it why can’t I just hang in there for a few more.’ But I know when I’m done. If I listen I know when a resentment is brewing and that’s not good for anyone. Especially me.”
Read Williams’ full post below.
I’m sat on a domestic flight, going across America.
I’ve had three interactions so far with fellow passengers. One of them handed me a lovely note -kind words about my documentary – and then asked for a photo.
I wrote a note back. I explained I’d been up since 4:30 a.m., had two hours’ sleep, and wrangled four kids through the airport. I’ve got bags under my eyes and I’m dealing with anxiety. I explained that if they came and took a photo with me, my anxiety Would spike – because then the whole cabin would start wondering who I am.
And I’m not famous here.
That kind of attention would only pile more anxiety on top of my already-thriving “being outside” unease.
I didn’t say no I wrote back, offered the letter, and said:
“Lots of people have photos with me, but no one’s got one of these.”
Then a lovely steward came down and said there was a man at the back of the plane who was a big fan of “Rock DJ” and wondered if he could come take a photo. I wrote a similar note on the back of my plane ticket and said that when we land, I’ll be trying to shepherd four children. Again, I didn’t say no. I just hoped the note might be enough.
As I was writing that one, another passenger walked up and just asked outright for a photo.
I obliged.
These days, I see it as being of service. If it makes someone happy and I can then I’ll do my best to facilitate that happiness.
I didn’t always see it that way.
But I do now. Mostly.
Still… I think there needs to be a caveat. So let me try to explain.
This is dodgy terrain for a famous person to give context around. Anything short of:
“Of course, it’s my duty and the right thing to do”
…is risky.
There’s a kind of unspoken law: as a celebrity, you should be accessible 24/7. Greet all strangers like you’re the mayor of the best town anyone’s ever visited. Make sure their wishes are met, whatever they are.
Otherwise you’re a [C-word].
There’s no in-between.
I’ve seen the argument:
“These people put you where you are should.” so you
But that thinking’s off.
I reckon over 50 percent – probably much more – couldn’t name one of my albums, let alone say they’ve bought a ticket to a show. They’re no more fans of me than they are of the Leaning Tower of Pisa or Big Ben..
They’re fans of fame.
As am I.
But not necessarily me.
Now listen – if we cross paths in the wild and you are a fan of me, I want you to tell me.
That means a lot. I’ll make time. I’ve got gratitude for that.
It warms my heart when I feel I’ve warmed yours.
But here’s an open question:
Do you think there should be a limit to how many people can access you in a day?
Is there a number that’s too much?
Or is it infinite as many as there are, that’s how many you should serve?
I think people imagine these moments as one-off, isolated things.
One person. One photo. One request.
Not the ten that happened that morning… or the five still to come that evening.
Every. Day.
Honestly, I’m not moaning. This is a problem I’d rather have than not.
This isn’t a complaint – it’s context.
I was on another flight recently, chatting with the crew. Lovely bunch.
They asked for photos – I obliged. Then more came
Then a few just hung around for a chat at my seat.
One of them didn’t know what to say and neither did I, but he said some words anyway.
Then came the kicker:
“You’re much nicer than ____ . He wouldn’t take a photo with us.”
That made me bristle.
I know that other celebrity – and he’s a lovely lad.
Maybe he thought that if he’s paying 8 grand for a ticket, the price might include some privacy.
Who knows what was going on in his world that day?
Here’s the truth:
Every interaction – with strangers or even people I know well – fills me with discomfort.
I mask it well.
But social interaction still frightens me.
So much so, I didn’t go out for years.
I had to relearn how to interact. And I had to do it without drugs or drink.
I used to find it impossible. Now I’m… ok-ish.
But still crawling inside.
Every time a stranger approaches – and they are strangers – I panic.
Also… have you met the general public?
If I have 20 interactions like this in a day – which is average – the odds are, one or two of them will be with complete dickheads.
And if I’m not playing the role of Mayor of the Best Town?
Then I’m the dickhead.
Notice how, when there’s a bad interaction with a celebrity, the blame always lands on the celeb?
Never the person who approached them, or how they did?
That’s odd.
Because let me tell you – I’ve dealt with every type these last few days:
The entitled:
The sociopaths.
The narcissists.
The disassociated.
The passive-aggressive.
The silently-judgmental.
The off.
And I’ve dealt with lovely people too.
But how am I supposed to know the difference -especially when I’m with my four kids?
Surely, my first duty is to protect them?
if you work in any public-facing job, I bet you know what I’m talking about.
I was on the phone to my wife the other day – she was in floods of tears about her mum.
Is it okay for me to say no to a photo request then?
What if I’m having a challenging mental health day -is it okay if I don’t want that captured by a stranger?
Is it okay if I don’t want to fake a smile and play Mayor again?
Two thumbs pointing at my chest with a beaming grin:
“Everything’s fine!”
Maybe I’m in the middle of an argument with my wife. Maybe I’m on the phone with my Mum, talking around her dementia. Maybe I’m thinking about my Dad’s Parkinson’s. Maybe I’m just… sad.
Is it okay to sit in that sadness without having to perform?
I’m not saying don’t ask. You can.
And I’m not saying all celebrities are saints.
We’re the same ratio of good and bad as wherever you work. Look around you – some people are just [C-word]s.
What I am saying is: let people be people.
Humans, struggling – like we all are – in one way or another.
Allow people the dignity of their privacy, their wants, their needs.
Because most of us are just trying to protect ourselves – mentally, physically, or both.
Just like you.
Let “no” not mean someone’s a see-you-next-Tuesday.
I do want you to be happy. I do want to help make you happy.
I do want to be of service.
But there has to be space for self-preservation too.
Also – thank you for letting me share this.
Letting it out, rather than keeping it all stuck in my head, is healing.
It’s not a moan. It’s just something I needed to get off my chest.
I’ve let you into parts of my life that maybe I shouldn’t…
But I hope, as with everything I’ve shared lately, it’s met with the same compassion.
Unless you’re one of the strangers.
SEE? It’s always the strangers.